There are many undercover superheroes in this world…

And caretakers have to be at the top of that list. They’re the unsung heroes who work behind closed doors to make the lives of their friends, family members, and loved ones better…and sometimes even worth living.

You may know of someone who has dedicated their life to supporting someone – whether by choice or necessity; nonetheless, there have to be millions of people in our world whose everyday duty, first and foremost, is to take care of the needs of someone else.

And these people definitely need an extra layer of care, just for them.

It’s so easy to assume that people are taking care of themselves, but more often than not, they’re so occupied and depleted from giving their energy to others, that they don’t have it in them to refuel.

I know this from personal experience of watching my mom care for my dad after his Brainstem Stroke.

These superheroes rarely ever ask for anything, ever. So, if you know a caretaker and would like to offer them an extra layer of support, here are 5 simple ways I’ve found that help my mom refuel, and I think will work for the caretaker in your life too.

1. Ask How You Can Help.

I know, this probably seems like an obvious one, but what I’ve realized is that many of us assume what the needs are of others without actually asking what they need.

So, way #1 is to call them up and ask, “What is the best way to help you?“.

Honestly, they’ll probably be shocked that someone’s even thinking about a way to support their needs.

They may need some time to think about their needs and how you can support them (and if you can), so give them an opportunity to think. In the meantime, offer them #2.

And by the way, I can guarantee their immediate response will be to brush it off and say, “Oh, nothing!”. Don’t let them brush it off. Kindly and empathetically (and genuinely) offer your willingness to support them, and then let it sink in.

2. Take Them Out.

In my experience, the simplest gestures are the most helpful.

So, plan a few hours for lunch and great conversations with laughter, or a night in with drinks and good food. What you actually do doesn’t matter, what’s most important is spending time with good people who can bring joy and take their mind off of their duties for some time.

I swear, a few hours of laughter is the best form of medicine for almost anything.

And if they’re too tired or too busy to go out, stop by some time with a gift basket of deliciousness and a sweet note reminding them to take care of themselves and their needs because they also need rest, love, and support.

Sometimes a gentle gesture of love is all someone needs to be reminded that someone is thinking of them.

That’s really what people need – not to be forgotten.

3. Offer Them a Break.

Again, simple.

If there’s any opportunity to relieve the caretaker of their duties during the day, even if it’s for 15 minutes, do it.

Caring for another human being is hard, exhausting work, so if there’s any time during the day where either you can step in, or just give them a call to let them know you’re thinking about will brighten their day so much so, and help them keep going.

And if there’s no way for you to step in or for them to take a break, send them a text expressing your love for them, deliver lunch and a refreshing drink, or stop by to hug them.

They’ll love you for it.

4. Hugs & Coffee.

The cure to nearly every hardship…a hug and a cup of coffee.

Okay, obviously this isn’t really a cure to every hardship, but my goodness, a big hug and a hot beverage on an especially hard day sometimes is all a person needs to relieve themselves of the built-up stress living inside themselves, really.

Next time you see the caretaker on your mind, offer them a hug. And give a good, loving hug.

And if you don’t have time to deliver a hot, or refreshing, beverage, give them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop with a sweet note offering to go on a coffee date together. Just the idea of it will light them up and give them something to look forward to.

They’re gonna loveeeee it.

5. Bring Joy.

Any form of joy is a beautiful gesture of love.

Most likely, a caretaker already has to bring a level of positivity and hope to a situation or person they are caring for (usually), so when you’re interacting with them, remember to be excited when you see them and talk about the good things happening in your life. They will want to hear about the good things, it’ll be like a breath of fresh air.

Love, Anastasiya

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If you enjoy these types of posts, I’d like to invite you to The Sonder, my lifeline.

It’s my newsletter, but it’s so much more than that.

Every week, I send 3 emails – Sunday and Monday – then brief and bubbly surprise messages throughout the week with the sole purpose to encourage you to keep going.

To keep pursuing your dreams, ideas, desires, plans, and life.

I’m the friend who relentlessly won’t let you give up on your dreams.

“Breathing dreams like air.” f. scott fitzgerald

Every Sunday, I send The Sundae Sonder.

Inside you’ll find…

• the tools I’m using to upkeep my mindset and wellbeing – books, tactics, and exercises.
• what I’m currently loving – music, dessert, movies, etc.
• ideas for fun and adventure – solo dates, group activities, and simple pleasures.
• and so much more

During my darkest moments, I realized that all I really needed was one person to cheer me on and remind me that I wasn’t alone. 

And although it’s our responsibility to do the heavy lifting of our own lives, that doesn’t mean we have to do it all alone.

That is what The Sonder is for.

A resource and reminder to keep moving forward. Every week.

So, come on in, you’re gonna love it.

I can’t wait to see your name pop up!